Friday, June 25, 2010

Am I Being Punked?


Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you are seriously waiting for Ashton Kutcher to come out with the cameras?

We have a new intern in the office that just so happens to be the son of one of our managers here, deeming it incredibly inappropriate to be rude to him, because regardless of what he’s making here, his last name automatically puts him higher than you. We were graced, for lack of a better term, with his presence at lunch yesterday and for the entire 30 minutes, I kept turning around looking for the cameraman. He proceeded to discuss his favorite TV show (Keeping Up With the Kardashians)…not to mention his favorite one is Khloe because “she is pretty cute.” To which my co-worker kindly added “Yes, with a bag over her head!” (Nice work, D). After his reality TV observations we were enlightened with his afternoon activity of the day, taking “this girl” to her prom. Her mom wasn’t able to get a limo, a huge situation, and he threatened his own brother’s life if he didn’t pick up the corsage by the time he got home. He then discussed how he is oober excited to go to college because he lives in a clean neighborhood, but the children are “REALLY bad.” How bad might you ask? Well he put it this way…”the next-door neighbor got suspended TWICE last year.” Are you as puzzled as I am? Because all I am thinking of is, wow bad ass popular kid. Is he 18 yet?

As if this conversation wasn’t titillating enough, the entire time he was eating a chocolate chip muffin and managed to not get ONE piece in his mouth. He left a few chips ON his mouth, but the rest of the muffin was either on his lap, or on the table. (As a side note, the president of our company JUST got these tables in at a great personal expense to himself. They are shiny metal 4 x 4 tables with no umbrellas that we can have our own hibachi lunches on if we so desire. But the good news folks is that they are impervious to water. So regardless of the fact that we get third degree burns if our elbow touches the table and that they are smeared with dirty rain, we BETTER be eating outside or we have to answer 20 questions as to why we do not like the tables.)

His father finally found him as the rest of us were gearing up to take the plunge off the side of the building and told him to get back to work, but not before he cleaned up after himself. He proceeded to scoop the crumbs of the muffin into his hands, look up and then throw them over the side of the building because the garbage can a mere 5 ft away suddenly escaped his mind.

Ashton never showed up.

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